…when tomorrow starts without me …

My Mom died August 22 2016 at 711 pm. It was sudden and unexpected. I suppose, in the scheme of life, I would of rather that it was quick then watch her die slowly with a terrible disease that tortured her till the end. She was my biggest supporter, my friend, my admirer and so much more.  The one person in this life who never ever said a cross word about me to anyone. No matter what I did in my life, and I did hurt and disappoint her a time or two, she would never allow a single soul trash talk about me. She always told me how wonderful I am, pointed out all my good qualities and encouraged me daily to do my best. I knew I was loved beyond belief.  We always laughed together, and when our phone conversation was complete Mom would simply hang up the phone because we never said” Good bye “.  I always assumed she be there again, another day, another call. Of course I knew “someday” she would be gone too. Follow Dad who left 16 years ago, but I really didn’t think it would be so soon.

While cleaning my Mothers home, in preparation of selling it, I found a double sided card stock piece that Mom had torn out of a book obviously not so long ago. It is not stained or worn like some of the other clippings that I found. It was thumb tacked to her wall above her desk sitting there just waiting for one of her 4 children to find. She often clipped newspaper articles, or pray passages from her favorite daily readings book and send it to me or one of my siblings with a short note. ” I found this for you… please read it and let me know what you think” Usually it was subject matter about a difficulty I was going threw as a single parent, or how to deal with rude co-workers or even about a sale that I could take advantage of. So to find this special piece was really no surprise, my Mothers unconditional love is still very near and incredibly healing. Across the top it says ” When Tomorrow Starts Without Me” and underneath is a penciled graphic of 3 angels. The 3 most important angels for me are my Mom, Dad and Grandmother. I hardly got halfway threw the words before I realize this must of been meant for me, although if you asked my siblings they would say the same. It reads:

 

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I’m not there to see,
if the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
the way you do each day
while thinking of the many things,
we didn’t get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
Please know I’ll miss you too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand..

And said a place was ready
in heaven up above,
and that I’d have to leave behind,
all those I truly love..

I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible
that I was leaving you..

When tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we’re far apart,
for every time you think of me
I’m right here in your heart..

Thank you Mom.. for everything..

 

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8 thoughts on “…when tomorrow starts without me …

  1. Dear Madi this is a really beautiful way for honouring your mother. I thank you for sharing your feelings and hers with us and I trust that you will receive the strength you need during this time. Love never dies.

    Liked by 1 person

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